After months and months of wait I finally got to see Ninja Assassin! N.A.R.D. (Ninja Assassin Release Day) was being hyped in certain circles as more important than Thanksgiving but I was unable to make it to the theater to see this masterpiece. Then when it was finally released on video N.A.R.D. 2 was ruined for me by Warner Brothers and Netflix new 28 day delay on rentals. I almost cancelled solely because I wanted to see this so bad but couldn't justify paying for it outside the money I already give to Netflix. So it was with great excitement that I popped Ninja Assassin into my PS3 this afternoon and proceeded to be amazed by how truly awful the movie is. I couldn't have hoped for anything more.
The title pretty much tells the whole story, Ninja Assassin deals with a Ninja who is also, wait for it, an Assassin! Throw in some useless side characters, a backstory that is way too long and drawn out, something resembling a love angle and blood, lots and lots and lots and lots of really fake looking CGI blood. That's the movie and why would anyone want anything more?
Ninja Assassin is not a movie for everyone and I knew going in that I probably wasn't going to like it but in all honesty I did get a kick out of the ridiculousness of it all. The action scenes are so far over the top they would be comical if the movie didn't take itself so damn seriously. For a movie with a violent level as heightened as this has you would think it would be done somewhat tongue-in-cheek but that is definitely not the case. There's way too much time spent on Ninja's (that's how I will refer to the main character since I don't remember his name) backstory and it really doesn't add anything to the the plot or character. There's no intentional humor found at any point and the action scenes are edited in that choppy, quick-cut style so it's really hard to tell what's goin' on and it gets annoying.
Ninja Assassin is not a total loss. There are plenty of severed limbs and decapitations scattered throughout the movie and while none of it looks remotely realistic it is entertaining on a very basic and bloodlusty level. If your whole reason for watching is to see a bunch of dudes die ultra-violent deaths you'll probably get a good level of enjoyment out of it.
The blu-ray transfer is top notch. Video quality is excellent with deep blacks, insanely bright reds and a good level of detail. There is nothing to complain about visually. The audio, much like the movie, is nowhere near realistic but still very powerful. ninja stars sound like gunfire when they hit and they come from all angles. There is tons of low end and surround use is constant with directionality being spot on. Dialouge is a mixed a little soft, especially early in the film, but what people are saying is not all that important anyway.
Ninja Assassin is pretty much the greatest movie ever made or maybe it's the worst, I'm not entirely sure. Either way some people will love the insanity of it all and others will absolutely hate it. I lean toward the latter but I'm not gonna try to argue with someone over it for fear of them chopping off my head with a ninja star from out of nowhere. I wouldn't want to piss off any wanna-be ninjas out there because if this movie is any indication they do not have a sense of humor.
Ratings:
Movie: 2/5
Blu-ray: 4.5/5
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